Rookie Army National Guard Wife

Nine days left until "the day". It doesn't quite seem real yet, like someone is going to pop up and say "ha! I got ya". I don't think I'm grasping all of this anymore. I'm kind of on autopilot. There is so much do on top of regular life that I don't know what I'm feeling. He's gone today for just an overnight trip for supplies and I'm almost looking forward to a night alone. How messed up is that????? He's leaving next week and I want a night alone?!?!??!? What is wrong with me?