7 days plus 3

You may have read the title and thought....huh? Then again, those of you familiar with the military way of doing things may not even give it a passing thought. I'm happy that we have a few more days together, especially since they are weekend days and we can actually hang out. Yet somehow I think we won't be hanging out in a comfy way. We'll probably be running around packing the last minute things trying not to get on each other's nerves, I'll shut down and then he'll realize I'm not talking anymore and try to apologize and I'll give him the it's ok smile when really my insides are seizing. I wonder if they know how much we are feeling inside that we can't let out. I wonder how much they are feeling but won't let out. He's already in the "it's just a job" mode and he has to do his job. No emotion to it, nothing to let me know that this affects him too. Inside though, I feel a little dead. Maybe everything has finally spilled over and hit the shut off valve.

I had a great talk with my daughter last night. She's 8 and I thought that she and my son didn't really understand the full impact of Scrapper being gone for a whole year. He's gone away for a few weeks, which seems long to them, but he's always come home. I didn't think they realized what this was meaning. But last night my daughter said that she worries about him leaving and how she's scared that something will happen to him and how sad I'm going to be because I just married him and it's really not fair that he has to leave. She said she didn't want to say anything to me because she didn't want me to be sad about it. So, now I know that my kids do understand and they are trying to protect me.


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