The odd art of sleeping..

I've been notorious in my circle of friends that I don't sleep well. It drives my husband crazy because he feels like he's responsible. I guess it's because when we were just dating he would come over we would settle in for a movie and I'd be heading to sleepytown almost instantly. I just always felt more at ease inside when he was there. That's why I have always called him my hero because he is the only one, including myself, who has been able to slay my dragons. But I don't, nor have I ever, held him responsible for my not sleeping. Well maybe a couple times, but we won't go into that.

So here's the interesting turn of events. As you know I miss him immensely. I would move heaven and earth if I thought I could bring him home. However, for some odd reason I'm sleeping. I am in bed and asleep by 11. Not 1, 2 or 3 in the morning but 11. No tossing and turning, no reading to make the loudness in my head go away, no lieing away thinking about all the stuff I should be up and doing. Nope, I'm asleep. This is such an odd experience for me that I had a dream that he came home and I fell asleep. When I woke up he was gone and his truck wasn't sitting in the driveway anymore and I knew he would be gone for awhile again and I missed him, all because I was asleep.

So what is this feeling of doing something wrong because I'm asleep. True, I know he is safe and he is only on training and he will be home in a week, but somehow I feel like I should be holding vigil or something for him. That because I am able to sleep, I don't care or something. I truly am messed up. My best friend told me that since we got married that my face is so much more relaxed and I just seem calmer.

I do feel calmer on some level. I know he'll be coming home soon and he'll be coming home to me and our life together, finally. Time to go looking for a fridge and a grill and a puppy.....together. I love that word!!!


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