Mixed emotions

I mentioned to him a couple days ago that I was reading the profiles to some of the other wives in our unit to get to know them a little better. What I ended up noticing was that I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I kinda feel like one day I'm going to be walking somewhere and they are going to see me on the street and point and yell that I'm a poser. I shouldn't call myself an army wife.

I know this seems kinda weird. I really understand that and I'm not losing what little of my sanity I have left, but bear with me for a moment. My husband and I dated for a couple years before we got married. We got married this past May. It is now 9 months later and we haven't been together for most of our marriage. Prior to meeting him I was divorced and a mother of two. I went back to school (which I'm finished next and I worked full time and took care of them and all that they had going on. I know how to take care of things on my own and that part of our separation doesn't bother me at all because that's the life I'm used to. This is where I don't feel like I fit. I just miss him. I just want him around because I like him as a person and I love him as a man. But I don't feel like I have the right to be put in the category as the other wives because they are dealing with everything on their own, some new, some again, but it's not the norm for them.

The other part is that frankly, I hear of some of the things the guys do for their wives to let them know they love them and my husband isn't like that. I know I'm not the typical girly wife and he's probably just used to me not needed that sort "love", but sometimes I do want to feel special and like I'm important to him just because of who I am and not just because I take care of him.

I don't think any of this even made sense, but it has been rolling around in my head and I just wanted to get it off my mind.

I would like to just say again, thank you for all the great support. It does make a difference.

1 Comment:

  1. liberal army wife said...
    I know.. really I do. he'll remember the flowers (because I think he has set up the delivery things ahead of time!) but that's about it.

    You fit just fine. really.


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